This Time
by Kelsh09
Summary: Rory has found success in her career and stays focused on her ambitions. Yet, a trip back home makes her suddenly realize that something is missing. A spontaneous trip to see Jess might just change everything for Rory. Will Jess convince Rory that what they had still exists? Will she stop running from her heart? Can one moment change everything forever? Full Summary inside.


_Summary: Set two years after the finale. Rory has found success in her career and stays focused on her ambitions. Yet, a trip back home makes her suddenly realize that something is missing. A spontaneous trip to see Jess might just change everything for Rory. Her life gets spun out of her control and she might just realize that sometimes you have to let fate take the wheel. Will Jess convince Rory that what they had still exists? Will she stop running from her heart? Can one moment change everything forever?_

 **Chapter 1: One Moment**

 **Rory's POV**

Everybody at some point has that moment where they stop and think they don't quite know what is next. Unsure if this path we've chosen is the right one. Sometimes all we need is that moment of clarity, where everything falls into place. I am a strong independent woman, who has focused my entire life on reaching my goals. I've been determined my whole life, it's just who I am. My career has been my number one focus for as long as I can remember. I always knew exactly what I wanted in this world. I guess that explains why I have pushed so hard for myself but have rarely been able to let others into my world. It's not that I can't or I haven't...I just can't make it stick. That's never really bothered me before. I just brushed off my torn heart and moved forward the best I could. It's been two years since I let Logan walk out of my life after turning down his proposal. Every one told me I was crazy and didn't know what I just did. Maybe they're right and I don't. He is a great man and I know my life would have been comfortable with him...I just couldn't do it. But the past is done now and all I can do is focus on my career and how to get further every single , I'm sitting here now wondering if I'll ever have that for real or if I'll always run from love and security.

I have just returned from six months on the road going from one story to the next. I'm living the life I always dreamed of. Visiting incredible places and reporting on the things that matter. I couldn't ask for any thing more, this is what I worked so hard for. I landed in Connecticut an hour ago, heading home to Stars Hollow to see my mom. I can't wait to see her, I feel like it's been an entire lifetime since the last time we saw each other. Even though we talk every single day and things almost feel like they haven't changed, I know they have. It's hard being away from my best friend. Sometimes I don't know what to do without her by my side. It's always been the two of us against the world. So, when I was out on my first assignment I felt so lost and alone. As I'm sitting here in my car, my mind just keeps spinning. I wonder if I'm where I'm supposed to be right now. I wonder if I'm who I need to be right now. Having doubts isn't who I am, it never was and I don't want it to be. But for some reason I can't help it right now. I look up at the highway signs and see three arrows overhead. One to keep on to Hartford, another to exit to New York and the third to change roads to Philadelphia. As I glance up I find myself rearing off my path and heading somewhere besides my original destination. I don't even know why I did it...it just happened.

I drove for what seemed like forever, my mind racing a mile a minute. I don't even know what I'm doing right now or where I'm going exactly. I just know I need to be here. I hate that my whole life I've rarely been spontaneous or adventurous in the way I'd like to. Maybe I was supposed to make this impulsive move for a reason. Maybe I just need to be here...if only for a little while. Just to reassure me that my life is going in the right direction. To make sure my heart and my head are on the same page before I turn around and I just wasted years of my life and have nothing to show for it. As I enter the city, I drive down this street I've been to before, years earlier...I wonder what I'll do or say when I arrive at my destination. But I can't dwell on it now, I'm here. I park my car and start walking down the busy street until I reach the building I was looking for. I pause at the door for a moment, my heart racing and my nerves shaking my entire body. Finally, I put all that aside and swing open the door walking inside. I look around and the smell and sight of the place is amazing. There is just something about the smell of a bookstore that puts me in my element. I look around looking for someone I haven't seen in a few years and am not too sure will be happy to see me here today, but I have to take the chance he will. Jess Mariano is one of the most complicated, complex men I have ever known. You never quite know what he's going to do next. And usually he surprises you in the best way possible. We've had our shares of ups and downs. I've had my heart broken by him...and he's had his broken by me. I guess I've never really let him go completely. I've tried to shove it away and hide it deep down inside. But I know in my heart he might be the only man I was ever really _in_ love with. I've loved a few times before, but nothing like what I felt when I was with Jess. It was a whirlwind, a once in a lifetime experience. I like to think that was my adolescence first deep love. But if I'm honest...I think it may be my great love of all time. And now as I stand here right now, I want to know if that's true or not. Or if I should just turn around and let this go once and for all. I start to browse, hoping to spot him somewhere.

"Can I help you find something?" someone comes up behind and asks me.

"What? No. I'm just...actually maybe you could help me find someone. Is Jess Mariano around by any chance?"

"Oh you know Jess?"

"Yeah, I'm an old friend of his. Is he here?"

"Yeah, sure. I'll go find him." He says, walking away and my heart goes into my throat at the prospect of seeing him again. Half of me just wants to turn around and run far away. But I've come this far, I'm not leaving now.

"Wow...Rory Gilmore as I live and breathe."

"Jess."

"This is a surprise."

"I know. I probably should have called first. Wow, this is so rude of me. I just come in here unannounced and just think that..."

"Rory! It's good to see you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. So, what brings you here anyway?"

"I don't know really. I just flew into Hartford today and was half way home when I don't know...I just needed to see you. I don't even know why...I was just thinking about the last time I saw you and I realized how awful that day was. And I never got a chance to say how sorry I was."

"Rory, it's fine. I've let it go."

"But it's not fine. I was a bitch that day and I don't know why I was just thinking about it today. And thinking of you. I miss you sometimes, Jess. You know, I read something and I think I'd love to talk to Jess about this."

"What about that guy you're with? Does he care you came here today?"

"Logan and I broke up almost two years ago now."

"Really?"

"He asked me marry him."

"Wow, that's huge."

"But I couldn't do it. It just wasn't right. I needed to focus on my future and he wasn't it. I guess as much as wanted to love him with everything I had...I just didn't. At least not the way I should have."

"I'm sorry, Rory. I mean that."

"I know you do."

"So, you're gonna stick around for a little while?"

"Yeah, I am."

"Okay, well do you wanna grab dinner or something? We can talk and you can tell me about your incredible career."

"I'd like that."

"Okay, just give me a minute I just gotta grab my wallet."

"Take your time, I got to make a phone call anyway."

"Okay." He says, getting up and walking away. I pull out my phone and dial it quickly.

 _"Rory!" my mom screams into the other end of the phone._

 _"Hey, mom."_

 _"I was getting worried, you were supposed to be here hours ago."_

 _"Yeah, sorry. I meant to call you earlier. I got held up in Los Angeles...I'm actually not gonna be able to get home for a day or two." I say, lying to her about where I really was._

 _"No, really? I was looking forward to seeing you. I have to movies lined up for the perfect 48 hour straight marathon. And all the staples to not leave the house for any reason. Pop tarts, tater tots, donuts, pizza..."_

 _"I know and I'm sorry. I just can't get out of it. Just put this on hold for just a little while...I'll be home by Sunday I promise. And I am yours non stop for as long as it takes to get through those thirty movies you have stacked up there and get out of that obvious food coma."_

 _"You promise?"_

 _"Of course."_

 _"You know I really hate your job sometimes."_

 _"Yeah, I know. News never sleeps, right?"_

 _"See you soon then?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Bye, talk to you tomorrow."_

 _"Yes, absolutely."_ I say, hanging up. I partly feel bad for lying to her, it's just not what we do. But I know she would make way too big a deal about me being here.

"You good?" Jess asks, coming up behind me.

"Yes, great actually."

"Let's go." He says, leading me to the door and holding it open as we walk through out into the street. I don't know what to expect from this tonight, if anything at all. But all I know is, I need to be here. It's just something that I need to do for me.

Going into tonight, I thought I'd be more nervous than I was. It's been a long time for us but for some reason it seemed like no time had passed at all. Like, we were back to who we used to be. Just falling into great conversation about our careers and books. And how much has changed since the last time we saw each other. Yet, we didn't really dwell too much on our past. I'd like to keep it there quite frankly. It's something that wasn't smooth sailing for either of us. Today was about who we've become. I'm actually surprised by how much Jess has grown. He was always one of the smartest people I knew. He just didn't believe it. I'm so proud and happy for all he has accomplished. It's hard to believe that we've lived so much life without each other. Yet, right here in this moment it's like we didn't spend a day apart. That everything we've been through brought us to this moment. And suddenly I find myself questioning myself and what happens next. I just don't want today to be over...if I could just stop time right now, nothing could take us away from right here and now.

 **12 hours later**

I opened my eyes to the unfamiliar surroundings and the light streaming though the window. I look over to find Jess sleeping soundly next to me and everything that happened came flooding back to me. To think that yesterday I never planned to even be here and now everything is different. I am laying next to my ex boyfriend, fretting about what going to happen when he wakes up. I feel like I don't know what to think or feel right now. All of this is so unexpected and crazy when I stop and think about it. But at the same time...not so crazy after all. My heart starts pounding at the prospect of him waking up any minute and this being an extremely awkward situation we just got ourselves into. Everything that happened last night will eventually need to be discussed or at least acknowledged. I mean, what does this mean? Does it mean anything at all? Or will we just go back to our own lives and never speak of this night of discretion again? My starts racing as I hear him stirring next to me.

"Hey, morning." He says, looking over at me.

"Morning."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good."

"So...look, Rory I don't want this to be weird or anything."

"Neither do I. But that's kind of not possible. It just is."

"I know. I want you to know this isn't what I expected from last night. I mean, I didn't go into this thinking..."

"I know, Jess. Neither did I. But it happened."

"So, what now?"

"I don't know. I got to get home, my mom was expecting me last night and she's getting extremely impatient."

"Did you tell her you were here?"

"No, of course not. I told her I was stuck in LA for another day."

"Wow, when did you become such a good liar?"

"It's not my profession or anything. And it wasn't a real lie exactly. I just told her I'd be home today instead of last night. Which is true. Look, Jess I don't want to make a big deal about what happened between us. I don't expect anything from you."

"Alright. Look, I don't know what to think about all this. But I will tell you, I didn't realize how much I missed you. Last night was fun, I felt like we used to."

"Yeah, me too." I say, looking into his eyes for a moment. Then I sit up and decide I should get out of bed. "I'm gonna go get dressed now. I should get going."

"Okay sure."

"Jess...I don't want this to be like our past. Where we see each other and then disappear for years."

"Me neither. You gonna be home for a while?"

"Yeah, I hope to be."

"Okay...then I'll be seeing you."

"Yeah, I'll see you Jess." I say grabbing my jacket and purse and head to the door. Looking back at him for just a moment. I don't know what this means or if I want to mean something. I just know I need to go home and sort everything out. I hate not knowing what's next but now everything's changed whether I want it to be or not. I opened up this thing with Jess again, so this is on me.


End file.
